I cannot stop thinking about this little third-world country.
When I was young, missionary work was THE LAST thing I wanted to do. With my dad as a pastor while growing up, full-time ministry was in my vocabulary, but not in my heart. Yet my conscience was pricked. I should at least be willing to go I thought to myself. My mom assured me over and over that I did not HAVE to go. That soothed my conscience for a time, but the idea kept coming back. What if God is calling me to a place where I will not be comfortable? What if I must eat bugs and learn new languages? What if I must give my life? What if?
God saved me from my sins when I was young. How young? Not completely sure, but I knew I was a guilty sinner in the hands of a holy, yet wrathful God. I knew I deserved to pay my wages for my sin in Hell.
“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 3:23
Yet, God provided a Savior. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, humbled himself by coming down to this earth. He lived as a man, fulfilled the law of God, and willingly died on a Roman cross on my behalf.
“And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:8
He paid the cost for our sins with His own life, satisfying the wrath of God for all who will repent from their sin and believe in Him.
“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21
So that…
“He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.” Romans 3:26
God had mercy on me and saved me. Around 10 years old, God whetted my appetite for the Scriptures. I landed on one passage in particular, and it has been a foundation for me ever since.
“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.” Psalm 1:1,2
I started to crave God’s Word, feeding on it day and night. It is the truth. How could I ever live without it? How can others live without it? In Junior High you would catch me reading missionary biographies; William Carey, Hudson Taylor, John Patton, Adoniram Judson, and others. All these missionaries, through their various countries and services, had one thing in common- each one of them counted it a privilege to lay down their life for the sake of the lost. Each one joyfully suffered sickness, loneliness, trials, persecution, and even death for the “eternal weight of glory”.
I began praying for an eternal mindset. Let me tell you: that is one prayer request God will ALWAYS answer positively. I want to be a missionary not because it will obtain for me a greater love from God, nor will it earn me the praise of men (for missionaries’ lives are lonely and largely go unnoticed). I want to serve God in PNG because it is one, out of many ways, I can bring God glory. I love evangelism. I love teaching, ministry, hard work, and the meticulous challenge of language learning and translation. My heart towards missions has changed since I was a child, and I have God to thank for this.
“For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.” 1 Corinthians 1:26-29